We are going to get buffeted; life is chaotic, it throws things at us. Rules for living can help us cope with the buffets; but they do something else, too: they help us navigate – if life is like a river, they can act like crash pads that help to prevent us being dashed on the rocks. Here are some of my rules for living. I invite you to think critically about each of them, in the context of your own rules.
1. Think for myself. About everything. Critically. Bertrand Russell said, ‘Most people would rather die than think, and most people do’. Let me be an exception then, and not the rule.
2. Be clear – there is beauty in clarity; but notice the grey, too.
3. Say what I will do, and do what I say I will do – come Hell or high water.
4. Be reasonable. I always ask myself: what would a reasonable person do in this situation?
5. Be kind. Kindness is maybe the greatest of virtues; it shines like a beacon.
6. Don’t compare myself with others; that way lies envy, bitterness and hubris.
7. Stand in other people’s shoes; empathy helps us to be humble and decent.
8. Accept that I may be wrong a lot. Ask what is wrong with this idea/plan/proposal – esp if it’s my own idea/plan/proposal.
9. Don’t steal a penny – even from a rich person.
10. Think of others who are less fortunate than me – of whom there are many – and offer them a helping hand.
11. Listen. Stop talking, so I can do that. Give people my full attention. I will probably learn something.
12. Thank everyone, all the time; and mean it.
13. Be there for people – be a person people can turn to. And cultivate relationships; they sustain us, and give meaning to our lives.
14. Enjoy the moments. Life is hard and full of sorrow, so it’s important to celebrate the small joys in life – indeed, the good moments would be meaningless if we didn’t have to fight through difficulties and suffering to enjoy them.
15. Dreams add spice to life, but short term goals give us the small wins that sustain us; it’s not giant leaps but steady progress that gets us to the top of the mountain.
16. Laugh. A lot. Laughter is still the best medicine.
17. Think about my lifestyle. Try to be healthy. Eat real food. Mostly green. Not too much. And move a lot, every day.
18. Don’t indulge myself in regret. Find a way to get over it and move on. Avoid bitterness; that way lies despair.
19. Don’t search for happiness. Search for meaning, do good things that make a difference, prioritise people, enjoy small pleasures; and maybe happiness will come.
